Thursday, September 07, 2006

Inspiration

What inspires me? Inspires me to do what? I think I'm talking about creating - be it painting, shooting (photography not people!), graphic design, anything. Art itself inspires me - to look at anothers art excites me, it makes me want to create. To read about others work and what it means to them, to read about how they got where they are - it makes me feel good. It gives me hope - I don't know what it makes me hopeful about but it does. Perhaps just the hope that soon I will create again? I don't know. I think I need to get off my arse and do more. I feel the need to learn and develop. I don't think staying at home is for me. It's only been five months since Caelan was born but I'm bored, I need to use my brain, I need to be challenged. Don't get me wrong - I love watching my little boy grow and learn and absorb everything around him. It's amazing. I have a new found respect for humans since becoming a mother. The human is an amazing thing - truly amazing. It doesn't change the fact that I need more stimulation - finding the time for this is the main problem. As I'm sure any new first-time mum will agree.

I've always been a really busy person, I fill my life up with all this stuff - I have always worked long hours and given my job 110% (ok not always! LOL). I was constantly setting new goals and challenges for myself from triathlons to fighting in the kickboxing ring. The training was mad but I loved it. I was always trying to better my last training - run a longer distance, beat my last time, swim further and faster, get more speed cycling home, beat yesterdays ride to work time, constantly striving to perfect my form in kickboxing - it was all go. The rest of my time was spent with the love of my life and enjoying every moment we shared - we were constantly laughing and having fun (not to say we don't do that now of course! But there's more sleeping involved! And not so much madness), I painted as well and shopped!! LOL Oh the shopping - I LOVE clothes and stuff. I'm now an at-home mum who has no money of her own (I got quite used to my well paid job!) and doesn't do any of that. I need to start. I may go mad. I used to get cabin fever if I stayed at home one day. I just couldn't do it. I was always on the go. Surprisingly it's been a lot easier than I thought it was gonna be, this slowing down thing - I think I desperately needed a break after a difficult pregnancy, so it's just as well a baby came after that to enforce it!

Inspiration - please find me. Motivation - please engulf me. Dedication - please don't leave me.

5 Comments:

Blogger Imagesmith said...

I know of what you speak. I don't know your age but given the fact that you have a little boy & your picture allows me the assumption you are much younger than I. I celebrated my 30th anniversary this summer to my lovely wife & we have 3 grown children. For the first time in 27 yrs we are alone again. So I guess what I am getting at is enjoy. That little fellow will show you more things about life than you have ever dreamed possible.

1:32 PM  
Blogger Saffron said...

Thanks! I wouldn't change a thing about him and our life as a family :) Just wanna make more time to be creative and use my mind again - somehow...

4:42 PM  
Anonymous The Artist said...

Thank you for visiting and I enjoyed reading your blog. Creativity can take many forms. Learning to stay in the place from which creativity arises is also important. Finding that `creative spirit' will add not only to your life but also to the nuturing of your son.

8:50 PM  
Anonymous charles ravndal said...

I guess being a mother itself is quite an inspiration. That is quite noble and wonderful. I was hoping that I was an inspiration to my mother but oh well I am living in a different reality.

8:48 AM  
Blogger moggie said...

ello, saffron. thanks for dropping by at moggiesworld.

did you take these photos youfself? great job! hope you continue to post more of them.

had the opportunity to visit auckland several years back...i love it! must do the south island soon...

3:16 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home